We’re fast approaching a milestone birthday, but I’m having a hard time thinking about it. Even though four is one of my favorite numbers, I’m not sure I like that big zero looming behind. So let’s not talk about that. Let’s talk instead about other wonderful birthdays we’ve witnessed in the last few months (I haven’t really embraced the blog-a-day thing yet–working on it, working on it).
My own lovely little C. turned five a couple months ago, with much fanfare, but there was a quieter more complicated music playing in my Mommy heart. I have so many happy memories of her younger years, I’m so proud of who she is and all that she can do, but five feels so BIG to me. Her astounding height, in spite of her two rather short parents, doesn’t help with the impression that she is growing up so quickly! Wait! Wait for my sense memories to catch up!
In this day and age, we’re so used to being able to rewind and hear it again, see it again, but her younger selves are really gone, transformed into who she is now and much as I may want to, I can’t replay those chirrupping little half-sentences or hold again the little three year old, or the little one-month-old she used to be. I know I’m hopelessly sentimental, but I can’t help missing who she was even as I embrace who she is becoming.
C., on the other hand, is loving it. She put it very well when she said, “I’m not a baby anymore, Mommy, but I’m not such a big girl, either.”